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malters

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2755
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About malters : Glad to know that I'm not the only stalker in the world. No I'm not a grammar Nazi but if you cant speak english I may kill you :)

You've probably clicked me because:
I was a complete dick to you
i was a complete dick to someone else and you thought it was funny
or you like my picture

now scram!

malters's page activity

Visits<b>rebphil18</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:46am<b>ericmtz</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:57am<b>Zrtuy1</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:19pm<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Oneoftheones</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:49pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 4:49pm<b>jacknapes2000</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:59pm<b>hogman500</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:13pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:37pm<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 3:31pm<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:41pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 12:01am<b>violetsweety</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 6:34pm<b>NYGAllDay</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 6:03am<b>Gunnie</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 3:31am<b>awesomeforever</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 8:51am<b>M4ttm0</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 1:54pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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malters's favorite FMLs

today while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, mah husband slappd mah butt . I fell into the oven . FML

#15619603
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72823) - you deserved it (5895)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

My Boyfriend Pulled On My Pubes And Made 'engine Starting' Noises. This Was His Attempt At Foreplay. FML

#15617936
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (14457)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

TODAY, I DISCOVARAD THAT MY GIRLFRIAND CAN ONLY ORGASM WHAN WA HAVA SAX TO GOSPAL MUSIC.

#15613942
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49613) - you deserved it (5863)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing mah testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed mah pants, earning me plenty of werd looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (22764)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend an I were playfully arguing about wo loved te oter more. After about a minute of tis, my girlfriend walked over an kicked me in te crotc as ard as se could. Se ten said, "Tere, now you don't love me as muc. I win." FML

#15539670
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47917) - you deserved it (15835)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today I was sitting beside a very cute grl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55376) - you deserved it (27743)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today I was sitting beside a very cute grl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55376) - you deserved it (27743)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I was waiting fir the bus while wereing my FML shrt. A passer-by stoppd , stard at me fir a moment , and said , "I agree , your life sucks." mega FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28122) - you deserved it (54435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today , I was waiting fir the bus while wereing my FML shrt. A passer-by stoppd , stard at me fir a moment , and said , "I agree , your life sucks." mega FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28122) - you deserved it (54435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today... I was cooking... and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slippd... and the boiling water spilld all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns r bad... but loosing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. fat FML

#15526223
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40506) - you deserved it (4127)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)

TODAY I WAS SITTING IN WALMART AN I SAW AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WALKING BY. BIENG THE SINGLE GUY I AM, I WENT UP TO HER AN ASKED IF SHE NEEDED HELP WITH CARRYING HER GROCERIES. SHE RESPONDED WITH "YOU KNOW I'M A GUY RIGHT?" FML

#15493619
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (15684)

On 03/26/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Yesterday, mah sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under mah care died of unknown causes. FML

#15485596
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24393) - you deserved it (9437)

On 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm - animals - by fish killer - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got 2 creams fir a skin condition. Te one fir my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of tis product". Te one fir te rest of my body says "Tis product relies on exposure to te sun". In oter words, I ave to be outside as muc as I can, naked and wit a box on my ead. FML

#15480042
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34641) - you deserved it (6209)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Taday I got a call from mah 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, mah kid has been charging grls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50122) - you deserved it (8170)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

today my cab driver told me about te time e tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge...ile we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39966) - you deserved it (3268)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)



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