About malters : Glad to know that I'm not the only stalker in the world. No I'm not a grammar Nazi but if you cant speak english I may kill you :)
You've probably clicked me because:
I was a complete dick to you
i was a complete dick to someone else and you thought it was funny
or you like my picture
now scram!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62548) - you deserved it (4543)
On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (10849)
On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42587) - you deserved it (4556)
On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my sister thought it would be hilarious to tell our strict Catholic parents I was sleeping around and had gotten pregnant. They believed her, and dragged me down to the clinic for tests. I proved I wasn't pregnant. However, the doctor said it was more than likely that I have an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34748) - you deserved it (16507)
On 04/01/2011 at 9:26am - intimacy - by Yolanda19 - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)
Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15565) - you deserved it (16426)
On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39346) - you deserved it (12265)
On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47515) - you deserved it (21374)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47515) - you deserved it (21374)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (42449) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (42449) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34683) - you deserved it (3189)
On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25764) - you deserved it (12243)
On 03/26/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17606) - you deserved it (7198)
On 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm - animals - by fish killer - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (4809)
On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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