About Malters
Glad to know that I'm not the only stalker in the world. No I'm not a grammar Nazi but if you cant speak english I may kill you :) You've probably clicked me because: I was a complete dick to you i was a complete dick to someone else and you thought it was funny or you like my picture now scram!
Malters - Followers
Malters - Followed
Hugged!
Malters's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    8%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    59%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    12%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    49%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    41%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    11%
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Malters's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

By Sean - / Friday 25 December 2009 00:36 / United States

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

By Anonymous / Friday 7 September 2012 05:08 / Canada - Edmonton

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 25 August 2012 12:47 / United States - Brockton

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 20 August 2012 02:05 / United States - La Grange

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 23 June 2012 14:59 / Ireland - Cork