malters

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malters

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3257
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About malters : Glad to know that I'm not the only stalker in the world. No I'm not a grammar Nazi but if you cant speak english I may kill you :)

You've probably clicked me because:
I was a complete dick to you
i was a complete dick to someone else and you thought it was funny
or you like my picture

now scram!

malters's page activity

Visits<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 11:00pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:07pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:19am<b>rebphil18</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:46am<b>ericmtz</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:57am<b>Zrtuy1</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:19pm<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Oneoftheones</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:49pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 4:49pm<b>jacknapes2000</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:59pm<b>hogman500</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:13pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:37pm<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 3:31pm<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:41pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 12:01am<b>violetsweety</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 6:34pm<b>NYGAllDay</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 6:03am

malters's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of malters's badges

malters's favorite FMLs

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

by bouda / 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm / France (Centre) / Animals

Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML

by Username / 05/03/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

by nothanks / 05/01/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

by Nxydolli / 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Geek

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

by Jims / 04/29/2011 at 10:00am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

by Celluloid / 04/29/2011 at 2:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

by fuundmental/// / 04/09/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

by blehhx / 04/09/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Animals

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

by ridella / 04/08/2011 at 6:35am / Health

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

by 1337fade / 04/07/2011 at 1:19am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

by Hanna / 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 1:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous