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malters

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2447
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About malters : Glad to know that I'm not the only stalker in the world. No I'm not a grammar Nazi but if you cant speak english I may kill you :)

You've probably clicked me because:
I was a complete dick to you
i was a complete dick to someone else and you thought it was funny
or you like my picture

now scram!

malters's page activity

Visits<b>ericmtz</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:57am<b>Zrtuy1</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:19pm<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Oneoftheones</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:49pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 4:49pm<b>jacknapes2000</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:59pm<b>hogman500</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:13pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:37pm<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 3:31pm<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Amelia_Jones237</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 4:16am<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 12:01am<b>violetsweety</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 6:34pm<b>NYGAllDay</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 6:03am<b>Gunnie</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 3:31am<b>awesomeforever</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 8:51am<b>M4ttm0</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 1:54pm

malters's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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malters's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16634) - you deserved it (77037)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60126) - you deserved it (12577)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51827) - you deserved it (17587)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53051) - you deserved it (8667)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (6055)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

#16294930
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16424) - you deserved it (63683)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Derek Lee - United States (California)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73302) - you deserved it (3782)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML

#16262693
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42063) - you deserved it (3304)

On 05/20/2011 at 1:46am - love - by BALEIGHLOVE17 -

Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML

#16262012
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8763) - you deserved it (23912)

On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

#16252216
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13014) - you deserved it (43590)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11277) - you deserved it (63351)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11277) - you deserved it (63351)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41179) - you deserved it (3417)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML

#16237005
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54072) - you deserved it (4207)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML

#16235054
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30213) - you deserved it (11915)

On 05/18/2011 at 6:57am - kids - by JCC (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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