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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3618
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About malters : Glad to know that I'm not the only stalker in the world. No I'm not a grammar Nazi but if you cant speak english I may kill you :)

You've probably clicked me because:
I was a complete dick to you
i was a complete dick to someone else and you thought it was funny
or you like my picture

now scram!

malters's page activity

Visits<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 11:00pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:07pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:19am<b>rebphil18</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:46am<b>ericmtz</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:57am<b>Zrtuy1</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:19pm<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Oneoftheones</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:49pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 4:49pm<b>jacknapes2000</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:59pm<b>hogman500</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:13pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:37pm<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 3:31pm<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:41pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 12:01am<b>violetsweety</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 6:34pm<b>NYGAllDay</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 6:03am

malters's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of malters's badges

malters's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

by JWhite / 11/24/2011 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

by ohgodwhy / 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML

by Username / 08/02/2011 at 2:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

by creepedout / 07/31/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

by screwed / 06/18/2011 at 4:51am / United States / Love

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

by Hopslammer / 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

by Braxam / 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Health

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

by MegaBear / 06/15/2011 at 1:46am / United States / Work