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malters

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2295
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About malters : Glad to know that I'm not the only stalker in the world. No I'm not a grammar Nazi but if you cant speak english I may kill you :)

You've probably clicked me because:
I was a complete dick to you
i was a complete dick to someone else and you thought it was funny
or you like my picture

now scram!

malters's page activity

Visits<b>Zrtuy1</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:19pm<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Oneoftheones</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:49pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 4:49pm<b>jacknapes2000</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:59pm<b>hogman500</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:13pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:37pm<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 3:31pm<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Amelia_Jones237</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 4:16am<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 12:01am<b>violetsweety</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 6:34pm<b>NYGAllDay</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 6:03am<b>Gunnie</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 3:31am<b>awesomeforever</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 8:51am<b>M4ttm0</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 1:54pm<b>danielrw</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 8:49pm<b>gummybear1996</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 9:59pm

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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malters's favorite FMLs

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30285) - you deserved it (2185)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (2558)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18282) - you deserved it (8099)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

#20030745
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22682) - you deserved it (4594)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23194) - you deserved it (3998)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9444) - you deserved it (17752)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

#19763294
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28722) - you deserved it (4666)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13679) - you deserved it (26750)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10817) - you deserved it (39297)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

#19637913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (1707)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36152) - you deserved it (3802) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28694) - you deserved it (5835)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

#19546385
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (16117)

On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

#19450814
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (1795)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (7186)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)



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