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maggzilla

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maggzilla
  • Town/Country : British Columbia, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 212
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About maggzilla : I enjoy reading about other people's misery.

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maggzilla's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34965) - you deserved it (4747)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38966) - you deserved it (3394)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37759) - you deserved it (4358)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38016) - you deserved it (5623)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17681) - you deserved it (41403)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41215) - you deserved it (4727)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (2860)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41460) - you deserved it (8162)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29677) - you deserved it (45262)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45380) - you deserved it (4389)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42509) - you deserved it (7549)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41086) - you deserved it (6094)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40420) - you deserved it (10143)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

#21013681
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47887) - you deserved it (9613)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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