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Perfectionist
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Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21734) - you deserved it (6979)
On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (7129)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31354) - you deserved it (5110)
On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35601) - you deserved it (2996)
On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (2063)
On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12834) - you deserved it (34922)
On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4745) - you deserved it (46348)
On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (10364)
On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)
Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19372) - you deserved it (9506)
On 02/08/2011 at 1:51am - health - by CatLitterLover (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (1920)
On 01/25/2011 at 9:10am - intimacy - by Charlotte -
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28122) - you deserved it (1933)
On 01/10/2011 at 7:48am - health - by AW -
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82673) - you deserved it (3840)
On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was running the track at my school. My crush of two years was running in front of me, so I decided to catch up and finally talk to her. When I caught up, the only thing I could think to say was, "What's your name?" even though I already knew. She replied, "Natalie". Her name is Melissa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (5014)
On 11/19/2010 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47350) - you deserved it (6501)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13212) - you deserved it (24823)
On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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