Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

magaliwoodrock

Search for a member

magaliwoodrock

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2577
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About magaliwoodrock : My name is Maggie, I'm 19 and I love animals and enjoy gaming on pc.
The sims are my favorite but I'm currently working on portal 2 and borderlands 2.
i watch tons of movies/tv shows
I'm currently watching dexter, himym, psych, and the vampire diaries.
I've been a vegetarian for 9 years now.
and my favorite genre of music is progressive rock such as pink floyd

Message me if we have something in common :)

magaliwoodrock's page activity

Visits<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - yesterday at 8:12pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:20pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:13am<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:06pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:07pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:14am<b>saocrates</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:09pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:20pm<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 10:20am<b>KaylaLevin57</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:48am<b>Kah1on</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 9:33pm<b>Trinidad727</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:44pm<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:48pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:48pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 5:52pm<b>xJAGx1505x</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:21pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:19pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 6:08pm

magaliwoodrock's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of magaliwoodrock's badges

magaliwoodrock's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47342) - you deserved it (7208)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44059) - you deserved it (6500)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38649) - you deserved it (4254)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (10033)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19398) - you deserved it (44774)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

#21101967
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38426) - you deserved it (10794)

On 04/01/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by someone (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

#21092926
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36380) - you deserved it (3675)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by please stop singing!!!! - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40997) - you deserved it (7743)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

#20974597
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43520) - you deserved it (7134)

On 11/29/2013 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46603) - you deserved it (5304)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44834) - you deserved it (4595)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60939) - you deserved it (25646)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: