Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maddy1028

Search for a member

maddy1028

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 October 1983 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 417
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maddy1028's page activity

Visits<b>Unkreative</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:44am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Aiden89</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 4:13pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 12:18pm<b>mcclive</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 9:15am<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 6:09pm<b>halfbakedlogic</b> - the 09/02/2011 at 6:21pm<b>AliSama</b> - the 06/10/2011 at 2:32pm<b>flaed</b> - the 06/10/2011 at 3:00am<b>kevinm22001</b> - the 06/09/2011 at 1:05am<b>geeksaresexy</b> - the 06/05/2011 at 5:04pm<b>IamTheCavalist</b> - the 06/02/2011 at 2:01pm

maddy1028's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

maddy1028's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7945) - you deserved it (71774)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (11476)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (9273)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

#17645605
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (4600)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm - misc - by d0rk_ - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (3647)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML

#17635608
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29074) - you deserved it (2306)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:17pm - work - by ReallyNow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

#17627359
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31943) - you deserved it (7207)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML

#17624611
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23056) - you deserved it (6752)

On 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by AMP4U - United States (California)

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

#17623287
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (4556)

On 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (3410)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (5654)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

#17526704
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60219) - you deserved it (3465)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37735) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: