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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 October 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 656
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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maddy1028's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:26pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Chris2daO</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 6:47am<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 4:26pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 10:00am<b>ar13l</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:43am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:41pm<b>Unkreative</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:44am<b>Aiden89</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 4:13pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 12:18pm<b>mcclive</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 9:15am<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 6:09pm<b>halfbakedlogic</b> - the 09/02/2011 at 6:21pm<b>AliSama</b> - the 06/10/2011 at 2:32pm<b>flaed</b> - the 06/10/2011 at 3:00am<b>kevinm22001</b> - the 06/09/2011 at 1:05am<b>geeksaresexy</b> - the 06/05/2011 at 5:04pm<b>IamTheCavalist</b> - the 06/02/2011 at 2:01pm

maddy1028's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

maddy1028's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

by d0rk_ / 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML

by ReallyNow / 09/01/2011 at 1:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

by girlsx2mom / 08/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

by mystupidson / 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML

by AMP4U / 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm / United States / Work

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

by AlwaysGottaFML / 08/20/2011 at 3:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals