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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I had to put my 17 year old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (2892)
On 11/22/2009 at 11:30pm - love - by petlover (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30317) - you deserved it (6117)
On 08/06/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by a-scared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (40460) - you deserved it (2848)
On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55475) - you deserved it (10559)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24684) - you deserved it (48845)
On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10589) - you deserved it (46816)
On 04/28/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by owned (woman) - Singapore
Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (55419) - you deserved it (6181)
On 03/30/2009 at 6:14am - misc - by wasntme (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
I agree, your life sucks (81308) - you deserved it (4497)
On 03/27/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by tehhotness (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72256) - you deserved it (3249)
On 03/19/2009 at 12:42am - love - by Fwick (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39570) - you deserved it (4151)
On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (5076)
On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6309) - you deserved it (40512)
On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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