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mackenzie2323

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mackenzie2323
  • Town/Country : Canby, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 917
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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mackenzie2323's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18196) - you deserved it (44712)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (31792)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I invited over my best friend, whom I've loved for over a year, since she had to tell me "something important". I got excited and thought she was going to tell me she loved me too. She ended up coming out to me, and wanted to know if I would meet her girlfriend. FML

#16661429
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (5227)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by :( (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (5387)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41782) - you deserved it (14373)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104486) - you deserved it (14017)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

#13937694
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27952) - you deserved it (9497)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33973) - you deserved it (11309)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML

#13019644
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (9039)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48147) - you deserved it (7497)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17274) - you deserved it (31120)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

#9672080
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (4975)

On 04/06/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by BluBaller (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21395) - you deserved it (3952)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML

#7380443
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6458) - you deserved it (29362)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56863) - you deserved it (6108)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States



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