mackenzie2323

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mackenzie2323

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1684
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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mackenzie2323's page activity

Visits<b>kusje</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 11:58am<b>666kitty</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:45pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Robocop82</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:51am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:47am<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 3:16pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:49am<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:29pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:32pm<b>southisup</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 5:30pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:54am<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:20pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:42am<b>poopsi</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Bob3332</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:11pm<b>squidgy1234</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 7:13pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:46am

Fucked!<b>666kitty</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 10:46pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:19am

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mackenzie2323's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

by elisimo / 01/24/2012 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

by caught / 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2011 at 4:03am / United States / Money

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

by bathroomgirl / 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

by Savannah / 08/01/2011 at 5:20pm / United States (Alaska) / Money

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

by cadillacfrank / 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous