mackenzie2323

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mackenzie2323

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1629
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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mackenzie2323's page activity

Visits<b>kusje</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 11:58am<b>666kitty</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:45pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Robocop82</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:51am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:47am<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 3:16pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:49am<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:29pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:32pm<b>southisup</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 5:30pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:54am<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:20pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:42am<b>poopsi</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Bob3332</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:11pm<b>squidgy1234</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 7:13pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:46am

Fucked!<b>666kitty</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 10:46pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:19am

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mackenzie2323's favorite FMLs

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

by Lilly / 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm / United States / Animals

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

by SummerJob / 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

by StillBetterThanTwilight / 08/28/2012 at 11:56am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

by xd3box / 07/25/2012 at 12:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

by TLJ321 / 05/18/2012 at 3:41am / Health

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

by Lee / 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm / United States / Animals

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

by KatieB / 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my roommate doesn't actually know a damn thing about cooking. I'm suffering the effects of him telling me that chicken is best eaten medium-rare. FML

by Ralph / 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous