About macdaddymady : My name is Madisyn. I'm a seventeen year old rebellious lass. I don't really live in new york city, but i plan to in the next two years. I have four siblings, and they're all boys. I'm constantly switching between my mom and dads house #divorcedparentsproblems. I do nothing but sit around my house and take pictures, because I have nothing better to do. In my free time I like to comment and argue on this site. I don't have a facebook or msn so don't bother asking. I have a tumblr though, if you can find it you will get a cookie .
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macdaddymady's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love
by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 6:54am / Sweden / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 6:46am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by Nicole557 / 11/03/2011 at 6:56am / United States / Animals
Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/29/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Love
Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML
by Fought The Law / 10/29/2011 at 12:51am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by me / 10/29/2011 at 12:43am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML
by Benjamin / 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…