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lu95's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by DeepTaccer / 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Health
Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ewwy / 10/10/2010 at 2:54am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
by crucets / 10/06/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
by lalalasmiles06 / 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm / Health
by teacher / 08/31/2010 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML
by lizardface / 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Health
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by clitorasaurus / 08/21/2010 at 2:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML
by Herbiee / 08/18/2010 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.…