lu95

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lu95

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4544
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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lu95's page activity

Visits<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:40am<b>epheon</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:18pm<b>fillip</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:51am<b>CattyMcEwwen</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:05am<b>albennink</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 5:44am<b>ExProz</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 3:35pm<b>celo_24</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 9:54pm<b>patricia00</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 7:11am<b>kelxdao</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 11:06pm<b>petitcrapaud3113</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 11:08am<b>kl08</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:43am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:59pm<b>julako</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 3:35am<b>RespawnPawn</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 3:50pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:12pm<b>sunlikd1</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:54pm<b>minneymeen</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 6:48pm<b>captain_nick</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 10:35am

Fucked!<b>acruse21</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:12am

lu95's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of lu95's badges

lu95's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML

by DeepTaccer / 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Health

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned a friends jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

by ewwy / 10/10/2010 at 2:54am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

by crucets / 10/06/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

by lalalasmiles06 / 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm / Health

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

by teacher / 08/31/2010 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

by lizardface / 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

by clitorasaurus / 08/21/2010 at 2:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

by Herbiee / 08/18/2010 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous