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lu95

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lu95
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1923
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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lu95's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (3313)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

#17267677
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (13630)

On 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by frankkathy - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

#17259665
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14803) - you deserved it (25193)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm - misc - by j - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52781) - you deserved it (9114)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5670) - you deserved it (84011)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9597) - you deserved it (75405)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35150) - you deserved it (2785)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

#16642737
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30957) - you deserved it (4022)

On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (11636)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (42382)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

#15294170
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24506) - you deserved it (6586)

On 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm - health - by sushi hater - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML

#15136903
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44824) - you deserved it (3428)

On 02/27/2011 at 7:39am - misc - by awkward (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

#14941696
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30311) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by allgrowedup - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

#14342949
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50742) - you deserved it (3886)

On 12/26/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

#13718140
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24601) - you deserved it (8025)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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