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Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (20807)
On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60137) - you deserved it (5771)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (3487)
On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27343) - you deserved it (3087)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4937) - you deserved it (14887)
On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19194) - you deserved it (1510)
Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (3616)
On 07/04/2012 at 9:48am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (2995)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34363) - you deserved it (5454)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23444) - you deserved it (10127)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13765) - you deserved it (162757)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13765) - you deserved it (162757)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9944) - you deserved it (15927)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (9831)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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