lpisagf

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lpisagf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 February 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3148
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About lpisagf : Name: Lxi (Lexi)
I love Third Eye Blind & I play World of Warcraft.
Ask for my facebook/myspace if you wanna know more.
The end.

lpisagf's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 7:22am<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 12:47am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:15pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:19pm<b>kooljac702</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 6:56am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:02am<b>JRT1393</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:47pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 8:01pm<b>Kluamary</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 1:59am<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:56pm<b>VouDoo</b> - the 11/03/2010 at 3:59pm<b>myblackclown80</b> - the 09/22/2010 at 10:14am<b>Smellyhippy3</b> - the 12/21/2009 at 1:44am<b>frostie</b> - the 12/10/2009 at 1:53am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/09/2009 at 9:01pm<b>shoieb9</b> - the 12/07/2009 at 3:03am<b>ishh</b> - the 11/18/2009 at 10:31pm

lpisagf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lpisagf's favorite FMLs

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

by sigh / 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

by shaggy / 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

by pokie / 08/30/2009 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

by Barista / 07/05/2009 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy