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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (4038)
On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28561) - you deserved it (2478)
On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (3229)
On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (3170)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29852) - you deserved it (5020)
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27984) - you deserved it (12235)
On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (5404)
On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41132) - you deserved it (10422)
On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45160) - you deserved it (8293)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21898) - you deserved it (2146)
On 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by AgentFreshers (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9841) - you deserved it (18833)
On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45725) - you deserved it (2289)
On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52008) - you deserved it (5654)
On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56504) - you deserved it (8697)
On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10294) - you deserved it (52554)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Friday 24 May 2013
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