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lotus0313

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lotus0313

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 March 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 519
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lotus0313 : If you have a question message me

lotus0313's page activity

Visits<b>Toolishing</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:08am<b>Katthebamf</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:06am<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 5:36pm<b>lizziemo79</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:21am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 8:03pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 4:07pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:45pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 8:27pm<b>snugglesMcGee199</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 12:25am<b>windell</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:59pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 1:37pm<b>ComaWhiteLove</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:38am<b>D3ATHZ3RO</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:22am<b>billyz77</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 11:22am

lotus0313's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of lotus0313's badges

lotus0313's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31604) - you deserved it (4018)

On 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm - work - by HereToLaughAtU (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (3817)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21485) - you deserved it (30325)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (5761)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39901) - you deserved it (5621)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (9848)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (3467)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37353) - you deserved it (5010)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36705) - you deserved it (13772)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38481) - you deserved it (3043)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35781) - you deserved it (2915)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20293) - you deserved it (38689)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42450) - you deserved it (13772)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML



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