lotus0313

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Offline (the 08/04/2015 at 2:15am)

lotus0313

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 March 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1549
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lotus0313 : If you have a question message me

lotus0313's page activity

Visits<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:43pm<b>Toolishing</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:08am<b>Katthebamf</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:06am<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 5:36pm<b>lizziemo79</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:21am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 8:03pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 4:07pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:45pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 8:27pm<b>snugglesMcGee199</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 12:25am<b>windell</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:59pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 1:37pm<b>ComaWhiteLove</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:38am<b>D3ATHZ3RO</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:22am<b>billyz77</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 11:22am

lotus0313's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of lotus0313's badges

lotus0313's favorite FMLs

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2015 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

by pabj208 / 03/05/2015 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

by jesspacheco27 / 12/12/2014 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

by HereToLaughAtU / 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

by dicksonthebrain / 09/26/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids