Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lotus0313

Online | Search for a member

lotus0313

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 March 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 371
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lotus0313 : If you have a question message me

lotus0313's page activity

Visits<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 5:36pm<b>lizziemo79</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:21am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 8:03pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 4:07pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:45pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 8:27pm<b>snugglesMcGee199</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 12:25am<b>windell</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:59pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 1:37pm<b>ComaWhiteLove</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:38am<b>D3ATHZ3RO</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:22am<b>billyz77</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 11:22am

lotus0313's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of lotus0313's badges

lotus0313's favorite FMLs

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics. thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13211) - you deserved it (26408)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37683) - you deserved it (11863)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he gets grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35368) - you deserved it (5728)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48053) - you deserved it (20899)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40218) - you deserved it (11799)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49591) - you deserved it (4652)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51973) - you deserved it (16813)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56236) - you deserved it (7926)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42480) - you deserved it (4390)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52316) - you deserved it (4603)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML

#21179364
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44698) - you deserved it (7047)

On 06/18/2014 at 12:48pm - love - by AgentRarity (woman) -

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46132) - you deserved it (22771)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: