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lobsterdog

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lobsterdog

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 March 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 332
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lobsterdog : Bonjour

lobsterdog's page activity

Visits<b>Rob2342</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 2:20am<b>brendonuriepatd</b> - the 09/21/2011 at 4:32pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:25am<b>drea103</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 1:30pm<b>kalseru</b> - the 02/23/2010 at 3:12pm

lobsterdog's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of lobsterdog's badges

lobsterdog's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35603) - you deserved it (3698)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (13144)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48073) - you deserved it (5037)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37301) - you deserved it (4097)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48173) - you deserved it (3803) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65263) - you deserved it (6608)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56413) - you deserved it (12031)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63440) - you deserved it (6292)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (2266)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8835) - you deserved it (28652) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (2563)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25398) - you deserved it (1947)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17375) - you deserved it (31355)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45459) - you deserved it (7321)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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