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lobsterdog

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lobsterdog

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 302
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lobsterdog : Just for lols

lobsterdog's page activity

Visits<b>Rob2342</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 2:20am<b>brendonuriepatd</b> - the 09/21/2011 at 4:32pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:25am<b>drea103</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 1:30pm<b>kalseru</b> - the 02/23/2010 at 3:12pm

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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lobsterdog's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47965) - you deserved it (5030)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (4092)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48067) - you deserved it (3799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65089) - you deserved it (6598)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56279) - you deserved it (12000)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63272) - you deserved it (6279)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8801) - you deserved it (28544) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (2556)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (1938)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45286) - you deserved it (7298)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you deserved it (4508)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69923) - you deserved it (6575)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

#4343153
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59747) - you deserved it (2619)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123147) - you deserved it (75485)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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