About littlemonster94 : Hi! Not much to say here... I'm 18 and in college. I have stage 2 brain cancer, but I'm going to be okay. I'm a Netflix addict and a FML junkie. I'm majoring in Molecular and Cell Biology and am guilty of being a grammar nazi. Feel free to message me, I'll talk about pretty much anything to pretty much anyone.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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littlemonster94's favorite FMLs
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health
Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
by badparent / 04/08/2013 at 12:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
by poopy pants / 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by confused / 04/07/2013 at 10:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by kimhinesvoinea / 04/07/2013 at 8:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by child of a crazed women / 04/07/2013 at 5:19am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML
by unknown / 04/07/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by ziggers10 / 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm / United States / Love
Today, I interviewed three elderly residents at a nursing home, hoping to use the transcript for a very important paper due next week. It went great, so I wrapped up and drove home. I sat down to start typing, and realized that my recording had stopped ten minutes in. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
by flea-bitten / 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Work
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
by dating walter white's gf apparently / 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
by yeah why not / 04/06/2013 at 1:06pm / Norway / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Love
by ohgodwhy / 04/06/2013 at 10:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, at my oldest sisters wedding she forgot something borrowed. she looked at me and said if I'm… Today I came out to my family as a lesbian. A few days ago, my brother came out as bisexual and my… Today, after choosing all classes that start after 11, so I could finally sleep in 'til 9 everyday,…