About littlemonster94 : Hi! Not much to say here... I'm 18 and in college. I have stage 2 brain cancer, but I'm going to be okay. I'm a Netflix addict and a FML junkie. I'm majoring in Molecular and Cell Biology and am guilty of being a grammar nazi. Feel free to message me, I'll talk about pretty much anything to pretty much anyone.
littlemonster94's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
littlemonster94's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML
by AAMBC4 / 04/09/2013 at 6:30am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by steppppphhhhhh / 04/09/2013 at 4:18am / United States (California) / Work
Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by lonelygirl / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Love
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
by Anon / 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by Zxz / 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML
by La Guigne / 04/08/2013 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
by nosey / 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML
by soakedga / 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML
by save the koalas? uhh / 04/08/2013 at 10:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and…