About littlegolferboy : My life may suck, but it will never suck bad enough for me to post my own FML.
Okay maybe I'll actually put something interesting in here. My name is Peter. I love Discovery Channel and the Fallout series of games. My favourite Star Wars character is Boba Fett, Kaylee will always be hotter than Inara, and I want to enter Samantha Carter's wormhole, if you catch my drift. I play guitar, but it has yet to get me any girls. My dream job is being an air traffic controller, but it's tough to get into so we'll see how that goes.
If I said something that really pissed you off, let me know! I like knowing when my trolling is successful.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41034) - you deserved it (342)
On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54923) - you deserved it (5430)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (8680)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32938) - you deserved it (3443)
On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46759) - you deserved it (12937)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92288) - you deserved it (27501)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42041) - you deserved it (5264)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13795) - you deserved it (54800)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66928) - you deserved it (4663)
On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36705) - you deserved it (14126)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30233) - you deserved it (84985)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (2956)
On 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by tukker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39166) - you deserved it (2344)
On 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm - money - by nsJ (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (24873)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (24873)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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