Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lionqueen1400

Search for a member

lionqueen1400

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3339
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About lionqueen1400 : I'm just an average, weird kid who likes to hear how fucked up some other people's lives are. And I love cats.

lionqueen1400's page activity

Visits<b>Rndmtsk</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:52pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:15pm<b>Hornedone</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:56pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 7:03am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 7:45pm<b>mcmuffinman1</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 11:19pm<b>brians2617m</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 11:46am<b>flupsht</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 1:55pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 7:09am<b>prettytreekitty</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 4:24am<b>miiapaige</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 11:54pm<b>alwaysbored13</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:21pm<b>ludachris09</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 9:36pm<b>Jakkel2003</b> - the 08/16/2012 at 10:15am<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 1:08am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:20pm<b>JessicaEll</b> - the 02/26/2011 at 8:02pm<b>incognito1520</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 1:29pm

lionqueen1400's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of lionqueen1400's badges

lionqueen1400's favorite FMLs

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (58978)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58762) - you deserved it (5359)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41305) - you deserved it (15254)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

#951533
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15501) - you deserved it (72962)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML

#943953
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63760) - you deserved it (3557)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by TrueStories (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

#851826
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14888) - you deserved it (84385)

On 04/07/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

#818669
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62442) - you deserved it (8439)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by jonas_93 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

#765462
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66114) - you deserved it (7427)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML

#740742
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18296) - you deserved it (73376)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (67248)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14436) - you deserved it (179838)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

#640480
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (85864)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:05am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Austria (Vorarlberg)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77133) - you deserved it (4545)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

#574941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62382) - you deserved it (9533)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: