About lianabanana : I love Fml . :D
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17412) - you deserved it (5635)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45409) - you deserved it (7535)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (1523)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2214)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8843) - you deserved it (31186)
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6804) - you deserved it (31860)
On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18454) - you deserved it (10374)
On 06/19/2012 at 11:35am - intimacy - by megasniper240 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (2056)
On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States
Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16064) - you deserved it (1757)
On 06/16/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by gabby - United States
Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18039) - you deserved it (4807)
On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (2157)
On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21551) - you deserved it (2226)
On 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm - money - by thedri11 - United States (California)
Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (1868)
On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad turns around and says he was expecting him to have a guide dog. This is why I don't have much confidence in myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18594) - you deserved it (1155)
On 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by hitnmiss66 (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17595) - you deserved it (2863)
On 05/27/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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