lemonmilk

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lemonmilk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 557
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About lemonmilk : Hello. I am Charles. I have never written one of these things before, so I am going to write my 5 favorite things:
1. Playing my bari sax
2. Reading
3. Working
5. Shortening lists

My profile pic is my nephew.

Ummm that's all I can think of for now.

lemonmilk's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:14pm<b>DB2517</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 1:37am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 7:19am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:44am<b>Awesomeaxel</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:20pm<b>Kitastropheee</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:22pm<b>Bigger_than_Jesu</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 1:14pm<b>ikickyourbutt</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 11:18pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 4:54am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:20am<b>Julianne_sings</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 8:49am<b>strawberrywine22</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 4:54am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 7:14pm<b>Enzi</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 11:23am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 9:18pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:15pm<b>Milanxx</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 11:08pm<b>kingsian</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:11pm

lemonmilk's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

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lemonmilk's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

by Nobody / 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

by yellowjacket_34 / 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2009 at 9:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

by chriss / 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

by Sarah / 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy