lemonmilk

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lemonmilk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 589
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About lemonmilk : Hello. I am Charles. I have never written one of these things before, so I am going to write my 5 favorite things:
1. Playing my bari sax
2. Reading
3. Working
5. Shortening lists

My profile pic is my nephew.

Ummm that's all I can think of for now.

lemonmilk's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:14pm<b>DB2517</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 1:37am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 7:19am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:44am<b>Awesomeaxel</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:20pm<b>Kitastropheee</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:22pm<b>Bigger_than_Jesu</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 1:14pm<b>ikickyourbutt</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 11:18pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 4:54am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:20am<b>Julianne_sings</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 8:49am<b>strawberrywine22</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 4:54am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 7:14pm<b>Enzi</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 11:23am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 9:18pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:15pm<b>Milanxx</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 11:08pm<b>kingsian</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:11pm

lemonmilk's FML badges

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lemonmilk's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that "the little red X" next to the email title she's been pushing out of curiosity is actually the delete button. Then, I had to restore the dozen emails she'd deleted even after I told her to stop. She's a manager. I stock shelves for a living. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 5:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

by Aberrombie Blue / 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

by Annieisnotokay / 04/17/2013 at 6:20am / United Kingdom / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm / France (Lorraine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

by Laila / 02/20/2013 at 7:01am / United States / Kids

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

by uhoh / 02/16/2013 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

by bettercallpeta / 02/15/2013 at 12:42am / United States / Animals

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

by tingles / 01/19/2013 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love