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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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laxgirl3

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laxgirl3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 815
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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laxgirl3's favorite FMLs

Today, my Halloween costume finally showed up in the mail. Their consolation for a late delivery? A 50 cent discount. FML

#13756349 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (18654) - you deserved it (1614)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

#13094765 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (21504) - you deserved it (1660)

On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (2434)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (20233) - you deserved it (2173)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33670) - you deserved it (6913)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

#7901856 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (5424)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

#7515979 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (5518) - you deserved it (13690)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - intimacy - by BlackPolarbear (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML

#7318850 (296)

I agree, your life sucks (4768) - you deserved it (39999)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

#6859062 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (2338) - you deserved it (33097)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:25am - health - by farmakakis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (2191)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (8968) - you deserved it (5972)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

#5224172 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (50122) - you deserved it (2484)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (26923) - you deserved it (4321)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (14919) - you deserved it (38353)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

#4923649 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (12456) - you deserved it (43103)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)