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latkematzoball

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latkematzoball
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 31 October 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2957
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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latkematzoball's favorite FMLs

Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML

#1986164
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42407) - you deserved it (7402)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13035) - you deserved it (51885)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (12254)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

#740142
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (53945)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12491) - you deserved it (153165)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

#495475
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53753) - you deserved it (27945)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by cjj325 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

#346119
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107604) - you deserved it (15201)

On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128627) - you deserved it (19255)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128627) - you deserved it (19255)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49039) - you deserved it (93063)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my physics teacher asked who had implants. I raised my hand. Then he asked me to show him the implants. Shocked at his request I called him a perv. I later discovered he meant dental implants as he was teaching x rays not breast implants. FML

#232961
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11017) - you deserved it (105280)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by Noname - Pakistan (Islamabad)



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