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Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16425) - you totally deserved it (6439)
On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4994) - you totally deserved it (19481)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6364) - you totally deserved it (11528)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:36am - health - by Ashy104 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15914) - you totally deserved it (3456)
On 01/06/2010 at 3:41am - kids - by motheroftwo (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17980) - you totally deserved it (1882)
On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you totally deserved it (1592)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15513) - you totally deserved it (2465)
On 12/19/2009 at 5:18am - love - by Madagascar (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15464) - you totally deserved it (3392)
On 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I bought the film 'March of the Penguins'. I sat down and watched few minutes of a dull documentary anticipating the moment that a baby penguin would jump up and start dancing. When nothing happened, I realised the 'March of the Penguins' and 'Happy Feet' were not the same film. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3120) - you totally deserved it (33916)
On 12/13/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Derek (man) - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16324) - you totally deserved it (7689)
On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5740) - you totally deserved it (19179)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14067) - you totally deserved it (6725)
On 12/05/2009 at 6:24am - misc - by someonesomething - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you totally deserved it (1501)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23478) - you totally deserved it (5918)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by ? - United States
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40103) - you totally deserved it (3648)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
