laaryssa

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Offline (the 07/08/2015 at 10:33pm)

laaryssa

31Fucked!

laaryssa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10531
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laaryssa : I really like netflix and I do tricks with hula hoops.

laaryssa's page activity

Visits<b>zyero</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Swarmling</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:54am<b>MathIsStupid</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:08am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:00pm<b>qwtf</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:17am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Bloopyboink</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:51am<b>Whoop_whoop</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:24pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:53pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:39am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:12am<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:11am<b>nightwings</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:02am<b>mattbaker</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:17am<b>sarahmfighter</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:47pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:45pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:45am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:28am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:37am<b>lex1459</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:00am<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 4:16am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:21am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:38am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:09am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:15am<b>davered89</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:15am<b>Sailer16</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:51pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:11pm<b>BriannaOk</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:25am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:52am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:20am<b>CambodianPenguin</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:37am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:59pm<b>bgbell98</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:28am

laaryssa's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of laaryssa's badges

laaryssa's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2014 at 8:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

by blueballed / 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

by bullah007 / 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm / Pakistan (Punjab) / Geek

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2014 at 11:42am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

by naladetet / 11/23/2014 at 3:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman. My name is Elsa. FML

by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

by anonymous / 11/04/2014 at 7:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

by anonymous / 11/04/2014 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

by EliseV / 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

by anonymous / 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 10:24am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

by melissa1028 / 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm / United States / Intimacy