About laaryssa : I really like netflix and I do tricks with hula hoops.
laaryssa's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
laaryssa's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/30/2014 at 8:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
by blueballed / 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML
by bullah007 / 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm / Pakistan (Punjab) / Geek
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2014 at 11:42am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by naladetet / 11/23/2014 at 3:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
by anonymous / 11/04/2014 at 7:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 11/04/2014 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Love
by EliseV / 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML
by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 10:24am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work
Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML
by melissa1028 / 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get… Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes… Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses…