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laaryssa

Offline (the 02/25/2015 at 10:42pm) | Search for a member

laaryssa

30Liked!

laaryssalaaryssa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4403
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laaryssa : I really like netflix and I do tricks with hula hoops.

laaryssa's page activity

Visits<b>ijulez</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 12:19pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:18pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 11:12am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:27am<b>ellymae96</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:04am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Whoop_whoop</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 6:57pm<b>davidxflow</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 2:12am<b>lild343</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:59am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:06pm<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:13pm<b>joechiro27</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:00am<b>tbro47</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 4:09am<b>kittycatkelss</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:09am<b>lex1459</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:00am<b>davered89</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 11:45am<b>hardesty</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:21pm

Liked!<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:28am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:37am<b>lex1459</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:00am<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 4:16am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:21am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:38am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:09am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:15am<b>hardesty</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:38pm<b>davered89</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:15am<b>Sailer16</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:51pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:11pm<b>BriannaOk</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:25am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:52am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:20am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>CambodianPenguin</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:37am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:59pm

laaryssa's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of laaryssa's badges

laaryssa's favorite FMLs

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38333) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31075) - you deserved it (18203)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36484) - you deserved it (5874)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

#21307548
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32458) - you deserved it (3750)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm - misc - by bullah007 (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36022) - you deserved it (5971)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

#21306153
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36218) - you deserved it (2273)

On 11/26/2014 at 11:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

#21304319
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30279) - you deserved it (3711)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44102) - you deserved it (3856)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44071) - you deserved it (6584)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (2925)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

#21291250
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40757) - you deserved it (4609)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by EliseV (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26250) - you deserved it (34396)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49214) - you deserved it (3477)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (5408)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (37662)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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