laaryssa

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Offline (the 07/08/2015 at 10:33pm)

laaryssa

31Fucked!

laaryssa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9888
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laaryssa : I really like netflix and I do tricks with hula hoops.

laaryssa's page activity

Visits<b>zyero</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Swarmling</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:54am<b>MathIsStupid</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:08am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:00pm<b>qwtf</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:17am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Bloopyboink</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:51am<b>Whoop_whoop</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:24pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:53pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:39am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:12am<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:11am<b>nightwings</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:02am<b>mattbaker</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:17am<b>sarahmfighter</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:47pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:45pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:45am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:28am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:37am<b>lex1459</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:00am<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 4:16am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:21am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:38am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:09am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:15am<b>davered89</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:15am<b>Sailer16</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:51pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:11pm<b>BriannaOk</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:25am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:52am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:20am<b>CambodianPenguin</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:37am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:59pm<b>bgbell98</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:28am

laaryssa's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of laaryssa's badges

laaryssa's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

by Santa / 12/24/2014 at 10:01pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

by I hate my job / 12/23/2014 at 3:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

by Bahhumbug / 12/22/2014 at 9:24am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

by ScottyB / 12/22/2014 at 3:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML

by KalaKa / 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm / United States / Love

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 5:41am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

by Extravirgin / 12/16/2014 at 7:01am / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

by Lisa / 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

by .__. / 12/07/2014 at 3:10am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

by hh / 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love

Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the floor, my little sister took a red sharpie to the carpet and drew a circle around it, "so that way, everyone will see it." FML

by punaise ... / 12/04/2014 at 9:12pm / France (Franche-Comte) / Love

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

by Summer Loving Happened So Fast / 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

by braceforcarnage / 12/02/2014 at 10:42am / United States / Love