Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

laaryssa

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

laaryssa

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2334
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About laaryssa : I'm just kinda here because between school, work, lifting, playing with hula hoops and netflix, I really don't have much of a life.

laaryssa's page activity

Visits<b>CammyGal</b> - yesterday at 1:40pm<b>JS47</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:01am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Niedermayer_20</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:25am<b>bobdlawr</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:50pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:35pm<b>steftriv</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:16pm<b>atav</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:11pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:01pm<b>gonzo209</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:50pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:47pm<b>cdawg69</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:06pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:06pm<b>grapegamer</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:39pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Murkyy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:03pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:04pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:09pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:35am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:38am

laaryssa's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of laaryssa's badges

laaryssa's favorite FMLs

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (3579)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42171) - you deserved it (10427)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41092) - you deserved it (6376)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40118) - you deserved it (9912)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40118) - you deserved it (9912)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45768) - you deserved it (5453)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

#20901708
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34238) - you deserved it (11461)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by sothisishowidie - Guam

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

#20899979
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (4531)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:16am - work - by browngirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66799) - you deserved it (4063)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48757) - you deserved it (6374)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

#20897726
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38851) - you deserved it (3060)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43972) - you deserved it (4139)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50319) - you deserved it (4829)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38290) - you deserved it (2621)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: