Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

laaryssa

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

laaryssa

19Liked!

laaryssalaaryssa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2830
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laaryssa : I really like netflix and I do tricks with hula hoops. Oh and competitively lift weights.

laaryssa's page activity

Visits<b>seemo82</b> - 30 minutes ago<b>minutepoet</b> - 34 minutes ago<b>Ahmad69a</b> - 51 minutes ago<b>bcoe</b> - 4 hours ago<b>iTzSelverZz</b> - 8 hours ago<b>lild343</b> - 9 hours ago<b>PresAgent</b> - 10 hours ago<b>BaKuTay</b> - 10 hours ago<b>jonny24</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Daring_dancer</b> - 12 hours ago<b>_liam_72_</b> - 12 hours ago<b>ClaireQ123</b> - 13 hours ago<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - 13 hours ago<b>poose_d0g</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Shemp_5</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - 14 hours ago<b>BriannaOk</b> - 14 hours ago<b>angiotensin</b> - 14 hours ago

Liked!<b>minutepoet</b> - just now<b>BriannaOk</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Murkyy</b> - 10 hours ago<b>AirBusDriver</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Edogg215</b> - yesterday at 1:31pm<b>CambodianPenguin</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:37am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:59pm<b>bgbell98</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:28am<b>superwolf33</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:21pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:35am<b>btrag97</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:29pm<b>1217jonathan</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:51pm<b>jgwyh</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 8:04am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:20am<b>RA91</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 12:11pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:43am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 4:33am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:35am

laaryssa's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of laaryssa's badges

laaryssa's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45900) - you deserved it (4865)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37680) - you deserved it (3532)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67084) - you deserved it (3095)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, someone in my 8-floor appartment building got an airhorn. They seem to enjoy using it. I can't work out where they are. FML

#20919926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36307) - you deserved it (2776)

On 10/14/2013 at 9:10am - misc - by STOPTHENOISE (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (77924)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43134) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

#20907125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38787) - you deserved it (5345)

On 10/04/2013 at 12:05pm - health - by likeyourboss (man) - Denmark

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51907) - you deserved it (7211)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41560) - you deserved it (2758)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45097) - you deserved it (4702)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50968) - you deserved it (2991)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (49732)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: