Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

laaryssa

Online | Search for a member

laaryssa

25Liked!

laaryssalaaryssa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3350
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laaryssa : I really like netflix and I do tricks with hula hoops. Oh and competitively lift weights.

laaryssa's page activity

Visits<b>davidxflow</b> - 12 hours ago<b>medic8</b> - yesterday at 12:43am<b>jacky75</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 6:53am<b>gavdarv</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:21am<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:58pm<b>davered89</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 5:39pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:06am<b>imapartypooper</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:38pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:38pm<b>nreed32</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:12pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:47am<b>Love_stinkss</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:30am<b>mhb210</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:56pm<b>buddysboy9</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:07pm<b>RA91</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 12:05am<b>xnighttrain21x</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:30pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:02am<b>hardesty</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 9:36pm

Liked!<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:38am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:09am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:15am<b>hardesty</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:38pm<b>davered89</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:15am<b>Sailer16</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:51pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:11pm<b>BriannaOk</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:25am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:52am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:20am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>CambodianPenguin</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:37am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:59pm<b>bgbell98</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:28am<b>superwolf33</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:21pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:35am<b>btrag97</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:29pm<b>1217jonathan</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:51pm

laaryssa's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of laaryssa's badges

laaryssa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

#21320202
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (4424)

On 12/19/2014 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (2873)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (5698)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28704) - you deserved it (3397)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20382) - you deserved it (32777)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

#21312092
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35442) - you deserved it (5854)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm - love - by hh - United States (South Dakota)

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

#21310086
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33015) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by Summer Loving Happened So Fast - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37262) - you deserved it (2612)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30047) - you deserved it (17554)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34789) - you deserved it (5746)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

#21307548
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (3745)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm - misc - by bullah007 (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (5337)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

#21306153
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35837) - you deserved it (2266)

On 11/26/2014 at 11:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

#21304319
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (3706)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: