Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kwinters

Search for a member

kwinters

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2952
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kwinters : I read FMLs for a 'lol' every now and then and to make myself feel better. That and a part of me loves to argue with dumbasses who think they're God's gift to the world when they comment, which is why I made this account. :)

kwinters's page activity

Visits<b>GotItWow</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:19am<b>ericmtz</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 12:24am<b>Capriccio22</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:58am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:40pm<b>horseychickidee</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 2:18pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:18pm<b>marinaim</b> - the 04/24/2011 at 9:37am<b>illmatic2</b> - the 07/01/2010 at 10:26pm<b>meavey</b> - the 06/17/2010 at 9:29am<b>hannah30</b> - the 05/02/2010 at 9:13am<b>ILIEKGIRLS</b> - the 05/02/2010 at 9:00am<b>HarperGirl</b> - the 01/20/2010 at 9:48am<b>JukeboxBunny</b> - the 01/08/2010 at 9:58pm<b>rachexl</b> - the 01/07/2010 at 12:05pm<b>manderella15</b> - the 12/23/2009 at 11:58pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/21/2009 at 6:11pm<b>allmidnighteyes</b> - the 12/03/2009 at 2:14pm<b>MagneticGuitar</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 1:28pm

kwinters's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of kwinters's badges

kwinters's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

#7398429
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (5863)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (4919)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33446) - you deserved it (2632)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38580) - you deserved it (4115)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19143) - you deserved it (3663)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was carrying several bags of groceries up the stairs to my 3rd story apartment when I saw a giant rat climbing down the wall towards me. I screamed and dropped my groceries, which went over the rail and landed on the bottom floor, destroying them all. The rat? Just a big leaf. FML

#5798950
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (31000)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by n_london (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (93794)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

#4774624
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44507) - you deserved it (4802)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (38076)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69279) - you deserved it (10364)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (419712) - you deserved it (59656)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176923) - you deserved it (45600)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
504 comments

I agree, your life sucks (230051) - you deserved it (80594)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: