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kwinters

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kwinters
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 June 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2401
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kwinters : I read FMLs for a 'lol' every now and then and to make myself feel better. That and a part of me loves to argue with dumbasses who think they're God's gift to the world when they comment, which is why I made this account. :)

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kwinters's favorite FMLs

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (20578) - you deserved it (2155)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308 (292)

I agree, your life sucks (17151) - you deserved it (46965)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945 (374)

I agree, your life sucks (40812) - you deserved it (7208)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (22503) - you deserved it (10658)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739 (473)

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (2241)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549 (589)

I agree, your life sucks (15410) - you deserved it (37350)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

#17074594 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (28513) - you deserved it (6583)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by _Emilyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732 (442)

I agree, your life sucks (9429) - you deserved it (35955)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML

#17064956 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (13999) - you deserved it (1267)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by cocacoola (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (42521) - you deserved it (1819)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

#17058882 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (9133)

On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (10986) - you deserved it (926)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (4560)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

#14140918 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (31867) - you deserved it (3831)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by prinzess (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (16027) - you deserved it (5865)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)