ktmcfarland

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ktmcfarland

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 238
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ktmcfarland's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 5:18pm<b>davered89</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 11:46am<b>pistolpete31000</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 11:05am<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:00am<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 10:34pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:07am<b>shibeep</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 1:46pm<b>chargers2588</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 9:27pm<b>kittycat1597</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 10:11pm<b>rockstar321</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 12:51am<b>jesse480</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:30am<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:38am<b>woiz</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 6:25pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 4:27pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 9:31pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:50pm<b>itsnotyourfault</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 8:30am<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:22am

ktmcfarland's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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ktmcfarland's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

by The fuck, junior? / 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 2:11am / United States (Iowa) / Money

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

by With_Love929 / 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML

by Sidney / 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

by gringa_Peru / 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm / Peru (Lima) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

by Mike / 03/21/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

by shit_upon_literally / 03/07/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.