About knaevery : Banana.
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knaevery's favorite FMLs
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Monkey253100 / 06/03/2012 at 10:47am / France / Health
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
by DBR / 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (New York) / Work
by sexyfreak2510 / 09/03/2009 at 2:47am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
by boytoy / 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…