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knaevery

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knaevery
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1499
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About knaevery : Banana.

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knaevery's favorite FMLs

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38974) - you deserved it (3007)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML

#19726034
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20912) - you deserved it (2552)

On 06/03/2012 at 10:47am - health - by Monkey253100 - France

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9164) - you deserved it (28744)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (55303)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (4198)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

#5015078
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7851) - you deserved it (43889)

On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

#5011183
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (9846)

On 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34065) - you deserved it (2103)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55102) - you deserved it (9620)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (87777)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70145) - you deserved it (17111)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100439) - you deserved it (4280)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79298) - you deserved it (19066)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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