About kmsdvm24 : While I usually have a great deal of sympathy towards all, I have some pretty FML basic rules:
1. If your fml includes the words: "I thought I'd impress/thought it would be a great idea/i was dared" - this is a ydi 9 times of 10.
2. If your fml involves YOU cheating on/considering cheating on your significant other, it will most likely be a ydi. Ethics and morals people! Use them! =)
More rules will be added as increasingly ridiculous FMLs are posted.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (1875)
Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10523) - you deserved it (30390)
On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34421) - you deserved it (5416)
On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40857) - you deserved it (5076)
On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (2076)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)
Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28798) - you deserved it (1537)
On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (1047)
On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (1750)
On 01/13/2013 at 2:22am - love - by MonsterInLaw - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18801) - you deserved it (2184)
On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13380) - you deserved it (82725)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12889) - you deserved it (34557)
On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (22283)
On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16732) - you deserved it (4835)
On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20598) - you deserved it (3714)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)
Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7414) - you deserved it (22622)
On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
