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klm2purple

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klm2purple

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 712
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About klm2purple : Well this is me... I'm alive. Message me if you want. Yup :)

klm2purple's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - yesterday at 4:59pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:08am<b>olpally</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:34pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:03pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 3:19am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:52am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:33am<b>ksadhera</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:21am<b>justtheotherguy</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:16am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:21pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:25pm<b>ealovan</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:25pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 1:15pm<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:45pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:41pm<b>RyoRyo</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 9:05pm<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 1:44pm<b>JDC1992</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 1:16pm

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klm2purple's favorite FMLs

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
79 comments

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (5019)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41559) - you deserved it (7321)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55873) - you deserved it (5177) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37080) - you deserved it (6479)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41549) - you deserved it (21602)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40252) - you deserved it (9583)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML

#21008277
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39891) - you deserved it (4160)

On 12/28/2013 at 1:11pm - misc - by daenerys stromboli (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30892) - you deserved it (7940)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48234) - you deserved it (4779)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52978) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)



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