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Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (10894)
On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17421) - you deserved it (2120)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13747) - you deserved it (162485)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8473) - you deserved it (18844)
On 01/06/2010 at 11:44am - work - by noluckwhatsoever (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is "Are you being held against your will?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34645) - you deserved it (9467)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by kmf - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7325) - you deserved it (118123)
On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got a parking ticket. I put the ticket in my bag and accidentally left the bag in my friends car. When I returned, the car window was smashed, my bag was gone. I had to call the police department and ask them to send me a new ticket, on top of the $1000 or so I'd already lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (4007)
On 06/04/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (342024) - you deserved it (40713)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (197186) - you deserved it (38416)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64208) - you deserved it (158257)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you deserved it (124397)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (226752) - you deserved it (13755)
On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (198891) - you deserved it (58777)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52212) - you deserved it (4820)
On 03/29/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (188498) - you deserved it (21063)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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