Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

klb198

Search for a member

klb198

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 136
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

klb198's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

klb198's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42758) - you deserved it (5436)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42521) - you deserved it (3422)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23438) - you deserved it (12579)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

#20083123
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (1597)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by IHateMyLife - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22906) - you deserved it (2964)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
580 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20782) - you deserved it (233699)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brand new iPhone 4 was stolen from my bag. I asked the bartender if anyone had handed it in. I soon found out that while I was talking to her, someone swiped my wallet from the bag too. FML

#13908824
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24399) - you deserved it (7438)

On 11/20/2010 at 5:40am - misc - by misc (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34474) - you deserved it (22836)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

#7180420
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10922) - you deserved it (26175)

On 01/06/2010 at 11:44am - work - by noluckwhatsoever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

#5714367
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31233) - you deserved it (8000)

On 10/07/2009 at 11:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is "Are you being held against your will?" FML

#4429167
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40759) - you deserved it (12423)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by kmf - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

#3256249
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10843) - you deserved it (162166)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a parking ticket. I put the ticket in my bag and accidentally left the bag in my friends car. When I returned, the car window was smashed, my bag was gone. I had to call the police department and ask them to send me a new ticket, on top of the $1000 or so I'd already lost. FML

#2587369
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41262) - you deserved it (5315)

On 06/04/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (419673) - you deserved it (59656)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: