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klb198

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klb198

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klb198's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembld a penis. I trid to cover up and askd if it was an action figure. He lookd at me like I was an idiot and said, ( It's a DICK. ) real FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44091) - you deserved it (5599)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

TODAY, I WAS FORMALLY DIAGNOSD WITH OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE TENDENCIES. MY MOM SAW THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO MAKE ME CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE TOP TO BOTTOM, BECAUSE "HEY, YOU LOVE TO CLEAN." FML

#20855277
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (3436)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I Realizd Tat Te ( Eyelas Curling Brus ) Tat My Best Friend Found In My Old Batroom Drawer Was Actually A Stick Usd For Cleaning Food Out Of My Sister's Braces. I Usd Tat Ting For Yeres. FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (12639)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today I received a compliment 4 the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

#20083123
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22152) - you deserved it (1647)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by IHateMyLife - United States (California)

Today mah boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wastd. He's currently nakd in bd cooing at his penis and giggling lyk a little grl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (3023)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents . My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex . It wasn't her . Thanks dad . FML

#17709124
593 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (246326)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brand new iPhone 4 was stolen from my bag. I askd the bartender if anyone had handd it in. I soon found out that while I was talking to her, someone swipd my wallet from the bag too. mega FML

#13908824
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (7459)

On 11/20/2010 at 5:40am - misc - by misc (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today it was really hot in house so I pulld shorts down so I was just in boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly trid to pull shorts back up penis flippd looool out of boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (22921)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today , aftar monts of job unting , I got a call back fir a position. I was outsida at ta tima and ad no pan or papar availabla to writa ta addrass down. I told ta guy to call ma back in 5 minutas and a agraad. It's baan 3 ours and still no call. FML

#7180420
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11463) - you deserved it (26834)

On 01/06/2010 at 11:44am - work - by noluckwhatsoever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, ma little sister was playing wit er building blocks. All of a sudden, se began to cry and eld er finger out to me. Assuming se ad urt it, I kissed it better, and tasted someting odd on ma lips. Turns out se wasn't urt, se was crying cuz se ad touced cat vomit. FML

#5714367
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (8104)

On 10/07/2009 at 11:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, My Girlfriend An I Were Starting To Get Hot An Heavy In My Truck At Our Favorite Park. We Start Going At It An We Were Both Butt Nakd When I See A Car Pull Into The Lot. Not Only Is It A Cop Car, But The First Thing The Cop Asks My Girlfriend Is "Are You Bieng Held Against Yur Will?" FML

#4429167
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41036) - you deserved it (12478)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by kmf - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I Realized That Mah Company's Calendar Is Synchronized Throughout The Whole Building!! The Entire Company Now Knows That I Made Love To Mah Wife Last Wednesday An Friday, An That I Went Out With A Girl Named Janet On Saturday!! My Wife's Name Is Julie, An She Works In The Same Building!! Mega FML

#3256249
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11464) - you deserved it (167828)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , I got a parking ticket. I put the ticket in my bag and accidentally left the bag in my friends car. When I returnd , the car window was smashd , my bag was gone. I had to call the police department and ask them to send me a new ticket , on top of the $1000 or so I'd already lost. FML

#2587369
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42566) - you deserved it (5503)

On 06/04/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (439694) - you deserved it (60228)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)



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