kiwienne

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Offline (the 07/22/2016 at 2:45pm)

kiwienne

5Fucked!

kiwienne
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 October 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3500
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kiwienne : I moved from Denmark to Belgium a year ago. My Flemish sucks ass, but I try anyway!

kiwienne's page activity

Visits<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:13pm<b>username635</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 2:33am<b>PurpleKicks</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:50am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 11:43am<b>clumzrino</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:28pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 3:39pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 8:57pm<b>MisterEx</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:47am<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:26am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:34pm<b>Lilo4life</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:53am<b>martianna</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:58pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:56pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:00pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:01pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:55am<b>ilpazzo</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:14am<b>Rulerray97</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 11:59pm

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:58am<b>MisterEx</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 1:47pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:57am<b>ershadq</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:42am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:57pm

kiwienne's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of kiwienne's badges

kiwienne's favorite FMLs

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

by anon / 05/31/2012 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Miscellaneous

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

by XxEmoWolfiexX / 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 7:49am / United States / Work

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

by OytoBeAfather / 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML

by Isa / 05/15/2012 at 2:48am / United States / Work

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

by anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 6:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek