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Offline (the 07/22/2016 at 2:45pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 October 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3625
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kiwienne : I moved from Denmark to Belgium a year ago. My Flemish sucks ass, but I try anyway!

kiwienne's page activity

Visits<b>username635</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 9:35pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:13pm<b>PurpleKicks</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:50am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 11:43am<b>clumzrino</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:28pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 3:39pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 8:57pm<b>MisterEx</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:47am<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:26am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:34pm<b>Lilo4life</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:53am<b>martianna</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:58pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:56pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:00pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:01pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:55am<b>ilpazzo</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:14am<b>Rulerray97</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 11:59pm

Fucked!<b>username635</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 3:36am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:58am<b>MisterEx</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 1:47pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:57am<b>ershadq</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:42am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:57pm

kiwienne's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of kiwienne's badges

kiwienne's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

by Nomoreballs / 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

by Toilettrash / 07/06/2012 at 6:51am / United States / Love

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

by anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 2:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

by Myriam / 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a poop in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

by pandora / 06/13/2012 at 5:08am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Transportation

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

by eddie818 / 06/10/2012 at 3:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous