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kiwienne

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kiwienne

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 October 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1654
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kiwienne : I'm just here to have fun, so keep the negative attitude down :>

kiwienne's page activity

Visits<b>Linksavestheday</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:59am<b>marleybree</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:56am<b>Dany93</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:05am<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:08am<b>Beanu</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:01am<b>pugluv4life</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:35am<b>BTF989</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:56pm<b>ex_omer</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:28pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 6:06pm<b>Dezi_loves_you14</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:17pm<b>moksha</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 2:04am<b>JayWaun</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:38pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 3:49am<b>izzie321</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 1:41am<b>colombocity</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 6:50pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 4:42pm<b>evig</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 2:50pm<b>dreamsneverfall</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 8:03pm

kiwienne's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of kiwienne's badges

kiwienne's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (1589)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

#20001897
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21195) - you deserved it (3662)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (15003)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8952) - you deserved it (26486)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I received my best compliment of the year so far when an ER doctor commented positively on the clarity of my urine sample. FML

#19992508
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17767) - you deserved it (1937)

On 07/30/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33328) - you deserved it (5019)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23519) - you deserved it (3419)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (5152)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26026) - you deserved it (12373)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32111) - you deserved it (4762)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

#19978741
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (2318)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:28am - kids - by poolboy -

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

#19974801
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (1894)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10690) - you deserved it (36785)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (4395)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)



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