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About kiwienne : I'm just here to have fun, so keep the negative attitude down :>
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, cuz our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managd to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shockd an highly confusd. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opend the car door for her, and out of habit, pushd down on her head as she got in. real FML
2DAY I WAS DIGGING IN MY LAWN, TRYING TO IGNORE THE SUSPICIOUS GLANCES COMING FROM MY NOSY FUCKBALL OF A NEIGHBOR. WHEN HE ASKED WAT I WAS DOING, I REPLIED WITH DRIPPING SARCASM, THAT I WAS DIGGING UP THE SCHOOLKIDS I KILLED LAST YEAR. FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, THE COPS HE CALLED ARRIVED. FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, an I convincad him to try baing mora spontanaou to spica up our sax lifa. This avaning, ha burst into our badroom with an ayapatch on, an "saductivaly" growlad, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wanch." FML
today my wife yelled at me fir admitting I take my wedding ring off at work . I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it . She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope . FML
Today, wile doing ma job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around te parking lot and picked some tras up, trying to elp out. Fait in umanity: +1. About an our later I saw a woman pick a bug off of er windsield and eat it. Fait in umanity: -200. FML
yesterday I visitd mah mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I askd why it was there . She shruggd and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
Today... I decidd to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all fir little kids. When I checkd back later... mah post had been editd into me tearfully coming out of the closet... and some guy had said he'd passd mah details on to Anonymous. FML
Today, My Mom's Intense Fear Of Tornadoes Caused Her To Break Into The Bathroom, Drag Me Off The Toilet While I Was Changing My Tampon, And Drag Me To The Basement With My Pants Around My Ankles To Join My Father, Brother, And My Brother's Best Friend. FML
Friday 27 March 2015