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kiwienne

Offline (the 04/29/2015 at 5:46pm) | Search for a member

kiwienne

1Fucked!

kiwienne
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 October 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2366
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kiwienne : I moved from Denmark to Belgium a year ago. My Flemish sucks ass, but I try anyway!

kiwienne's page activity

Visits<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 9:07am<b>zingline89</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:17am<b>imkool136</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:46am<b>FlendtDK</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:04pm<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 8:50pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:06am<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:37am<b>123765</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:21am<b>Linksavestheday</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:59am<b>marleybree</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:56am<b>Dany93</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:05am<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:08am<b>Beanu</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:01am<b>pugluv4life</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:35am<b>BTF989</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:56pm<b>ex_omer</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:28pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 6:06pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:57pm

kiwienne's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of kiwienne's badges

kiwienne's favorite FMLs

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

#20051386
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17904) - you deserved it (1781)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (8178)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37356) - you deserved it (10879) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22221) - you deserved it (2541)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

#20027750
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26840) - you deserved it (1786)

On 08/18/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by sneaky1324 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31312) - you deserved it (8599)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16213) - you deserved it (40415)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20399) - you deserved it (3474)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (3502)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

#20009222
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22222) - you deserved it (2234)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

#20007765
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20850) - you deserved it (2065)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML

#20004185
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5906) - you deserved it (35787)

On 08/05/2012 at 4:21pm - misc - by icybrent94 (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33850) - you deserved it (1714)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)



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