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kissaoneal13's favorite FMLs
by scribbles1475 / 12/15/2011 at 12:00am / United States (Colorado) / Love
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by jessi / 12/02/2011 at 8:22am / United States / Kids
by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML
by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by halloweed / 11/16/2011 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/11/2011 at 8:55pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML
by Customer Stonage Representative / 10/21/2011 at 8:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…