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Kissaoneal13's favorite FMLs

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

By whotouchedyou1 / Tuesday 26 August 2014 02:37 / United States - Cypress

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

By chloecamp / Tuesday 15 July 2014 03:35 / United States - Ellington

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

By ConfusedDad / Sunday 29 December 2014 07:01 / United States

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

By Anonomous / Sunday 29 December 2014 00:31 / United States - Plainfield

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 27 December 2013 22:39 / United Kingdom