kingbrizo

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Offline (the 01/23/2016 at 11:21pm)

kingbrizo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10357
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About kingbrizo : I live in So Cal, I love snowboarding, and I have blonde hair and green eyes.
I like to play soccer, softball and football with my friends, and I especially love my music. I love most every classic rock artist like, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, AC/DC, Guns N' Roses, Aerosmith, and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Just to name a few...there's plenty more.
I have a great sense of humour, and my first language is sarcasm. I know some Portuguese, French, and Turkish, and Im learning Spanish now!
I don't like much foods, but Im always willing to try. A favourite is chocolate, but who's isnt?!
If you have any questions, feel free to ask, and I'll gladly answer them =)

kingbrizo's page activity

Visits<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 4:01pm<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 9:58pm<b>bcofelia</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:37pm<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:41pm<b>Jelbeztok</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Black_Rose_14</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:17pm<b>dapbieber997</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 6:28pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:35pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 9:49pm<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 5:15am<b>emilyyy_maryyy</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 11:36am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 1:14am<b>lachina805</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 11:12pm<b>familyguy33</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 8:39pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 7:54pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 7:02pm<b>AngelLovesDerby</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 5:52pm

kingbrizo's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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kingbrizo's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

by 1942ford / 07/22/2013 at 10:18pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML

by RonnieG / 07/22/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

by sucker and suckatash/say don't spray / 07/17/2013 at 6:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

by lame-o-prof / 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

by thanks, Nemo. / 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

by fucked up dad / 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm / Transportation

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids