Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kingbrizo

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 6:18am) | Search for a member

kingbrizo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3128
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About kingbrizo : I live in So Cal, I love snowboarding, and I have blonde hair and green eyes.
I like to play soccer, softball and football with my friends, and I especially love my music. I love most every classic rock artist like, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, AC/DC, Guns N' Roses, Aerosmith, and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Just to name a few...there's plenty more.
I have a great sense of humour, and my first language is sarcasm. I know some Portuguese, French, and Turkish, and Im learning Spanish now!
I don't like much foods, but Im always willing to try. A favourite is chocolate, but who's isnt?!
If you have any questions, feel free to ask, and I'll gladly answer them =)

kingbrizo's page activity

Visits<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 4:01pm<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 9:58pm<b>bcofelia</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:37pm<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:41pm<b>Jelbeztok</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Black_Rose_14</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:17pm<b>dapbieber997</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 6:28pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:35pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 9:49pm<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 5:15am<b>emilyyy_maryyy</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 11:36am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 1:14am<b>lachina805</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 11:12pm<b>familyguy33</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 8:39pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 7:54pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 7:02pm<b>AngelLovesDerby</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 5:52pm

kingbrizo's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of kingbrizo's badges

kingbrizo's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

#20833166
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48747) - you deserved it (5980)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49201) - you deserved it (5202)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17240) - you deserved it (35198)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was walking along the beach at night with my family. A huge wave came up and knocked me over. When we got to the van, I realized that the keys that had been in my pocket were now in the ocean. Our cell phones, shoes, and money were in the van. We had to walk three miles to our hotel. FML

#20831839
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40337) - you deserved it (6183)

On 08/11/2013 at 3:28am - misc - by cricketsins (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

#20831608
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23242) - you deserved it (60590)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

#20831181
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50104) - you deserved it (3968)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was flirting with a cute bartender on my last day in Spain. It was going well until we somehow got onto the topic of how I was recently dumped by my boyfriend of 3 years via Facebook. He spent the next 5 minutes laughing and telling his coworkers how hilarious that was. FML

#20831150
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (8314)

On 08/10/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by selfesteemloss (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I went to get my hair done. The hairdresser managed to catch my eyebrow piercing in his comb and almost rip it out. I now look like I have a gunshot wound on the upper right hand side of my face. I'm getting married in a matter of hours, and I still had to pay £100 for the hair cut. FML

#20831030
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (13405)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:55pm - misc - by ouchbrow (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

#20830989
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46449) - you deserved it (3436)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

#20830944
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50803) - you deserved it (3395)

On 08/10/2013 at 4:56pm - kids - by rachel (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59292) - you deserved it (3159)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

#20830800
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41715) - you deserved it (2675)

On 08/10/2013 at 2:41pm - work - by his word vs mine = me suspended (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42043) - you deserved it (4886)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

#20830066
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41572) - you deserved it (6291)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: